Since 1999, the animated sitcom Family Guy explored a resilient animated universe that allows characters to do everything from time travel to exploration of the eternal struggle between man and giant chickens .
But one thing that remains consistent from episode to episode is the relationship between its characters, centered on the Griffins; Peter, the owner of the family, his wife Lois, daughter Meg, son Chris, little Stewie and their talking dog Brian. The regular cast of characters includes their friends; Joe the disabled cop, Cleveland the black family man and Glen Quagmire, the eternal horned dog. Even though they are all very dysfunctional and have their own fights, at the end of the day the Family Guy and their friends remain close, except for Quagmire and Brian.
In the season eight episode “Jerome is the New Black,” Brian finally confronts Quagmire and asks Glen why, despite Brian’s constant attempts to befriend him, he remains hostile. At a time when the show sheds its patina of stupidity and allows its characters to become real, Quagmire goes wild with an eleven-point list of Brian’s character flaws in an epic monologue that instantly became one of the most iconic moments. memorable from the series:
- Although Peter is Brian’s best friend, Brian constantly rehearses with Lois, even when Peter pays for his food and saves him from certain death. And he repays Peter by defecating all over his yard.
- He tells Brian he’s a “sponge”, and when asked to pay, he always says “he’ll get you later”, but that “later” never comes.
- Brian pretends to be a deep guy who loves women for their souls when, in reality, he’s only dating bimbos. Quagmire admits to doing the same thing, but the difference between him and Brian is that at least he’s honest about who he is.
- Then he accuses Brian of buying his appointments Catcher in the Rye to feel superior in explaining it to him, and also tells Brian that he only identifies with the protagonist, Holden Caulfield, because they are both spoiled and pretentious brats.
- Brian is a terrible writer and when he wrote a false note to Quagmire from Cheryl Tiegs, he knew that Tiegs didn’t write it because he would never make the obvious spelling mistakes that Brian does.
- Brian espouses liberal beliefs about legalizing marijuana and helping the homeless, but does nothing to help. Quagmire explains that at least he volunteers at the soup kitchen and, if he wants to help, he should “get a ladle!”
- Brian thinks he’s better than everyone else because he drives a Prius. Quagmire tells Brian that “driving a Prius doesn’t make you Jesus Christ!”
- So he opposes Brian’s looking down on religious people as “idiots”.
- And that the dog has no right to despise anyone for failing college twice.
- Brian is a failure as a father and never sees his son.
- And finally, he says he would be able to forgive all of the above if Brian wasn’t a “boring sad and alcoholic”.
This memorable scene is hugely recognizable to anyone who has curbed their growing anger at someone they secretly despise. At least, Brian has had his much-needed moment of catharsis.